Grand Theft Auto IV: The best, and worst game ever made?

I know I promised to shut up about it, but that is because I lied to you. I lied to you so hard.

When I wrote this about Grand Theft Auto, it was more of an impression than a review; the game had only been out for a few days at that point. I’ve had much, much more time put in on it. I’ve finally gotten beyond the novelty factor enough to honestly consider the game itself, and I have come to this conclusion:

It is shit.

It’s repetitive, poorly implemented, riddled with design flaws, awkward, and above all glitchy. I’ll stop now and give you all a moment to type the word ‘motherfucker’ a few dozen times in the comments section below, and then we’ll continue.

Grand Theft Auto IV is a horrible game, and yet I stand by every word of my previous gushing impressions. It is perhaps the single most impressive achievement in gaming, and one of the shoddiest mass-market releases I have ever seen. And at the risk of seeming like an even more monumental asshole, I think it’s the very aspects that make GTA IV so impressive that also completely ruin it.

That leaves a hell of a lot of explaining for me to do. First, everything I said about the city and it’s immersiveness is absolutely true. If anything, I have come to appreciate what Rockstar has accomplished here even more the longer I play. I notice even more of the little things, like how the fast food workers at the various restaurants actually have different duties. They don’t merely stand there, inanimate, existing only to serve the one function you require - food. They come out from behind the counter and clean the tables. They sweep the sidewalks out front and wash the windows. Or that the cars…