13 Apr 2009

The Last Dragon: Soul Calculus

I once had a theory that, seeing as how math is the universal language, it should be possible for all things and their parts to be broken down into mathematical expressions. If that’s the case, then all things must have a sum; a solution, a simplified manner of being expressed that is, in effect, their answer. These solutions are not necessarily numbers themselves. They could be literally anything because, as the theory stated before, everything can be reduced to numbers. As human beings, we are but finite matter in an infinite universe, and are therefore subject to all of its laws the same as anything else. So every individual human being must have an answer which effectively reduces them to their simplest expressable state, and that answer could take any form.

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28 Mar 2009

Foreign Movie Posters That Will Put Hair On Your Chest…Then Burn It Off.

Modern movie posters universally suck. They’re boring, over-edited, passionless displays that tell you more about the special effects budget of a film than the heart of it. Somewhere along the line, art took backseat to top-billing and cheap labor, and now all we get is an endless repeat of the “floating heads above special effects” design. But that doesn’t mean the art is dead; it’s just been outsourced. From Bollywood to the Middle-east, the foreign markets took the raped and abandoned husk of our artistic integrity, jacked it up on mescaline, lit it on fire, and jumped it over a schoolbus. And when they were done, this is what they gave us back:

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20 Feb 2009

How To: Recognize “Zardoz.”

The movie Zardoz is a distinct, easily recognizable moving picture show in the genre of science fiction featuring popular actor Sean Connery. Because this movie poses a clear and present danger to the sensibilities and tastes of potential viewers, it is best recognized externally, before the actual playing or watching of the movie itself, so as to avoid accidental exposure to the contents within.

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