18 Nov 2009

How Not to Deal with the Red Ring of Death

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Posted in: Featured• Video Games

New column up at Cracked, dealing with that most painful, humiliating, shameful of issues: Gaming Dysfunction. I myself was recently molested by the RROD, and I hope my harrowing tale helps anybody else out there suffering from this. No, no don’t call me a hero - I am just a man. Digg it here, to let other RRODees know they’re not alone! Take back the night!

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6

  • “Would you like to sign up for our Blaster Points card?” the pushy virgin-king at the register asked me.
    CLASSIC.

    Muledriver 19.Nov.2009 12:39 am

  • I loved that article. I got the RRD last year. Couldn’t sleep for 4 days.

    Also, I would like to take this moment to praise you and your amazing ’stache. I love you. You are my best friend.

    I pre-ordered your book.

    Couzin Vinny 23.Nov.2009 2:02 pm

  • “HI, HOW ARE YOU?” I bellow and simultaneously lament the fact that there is no bigger Capitation than CAPS. Fuck you CAPS LOCK! Anyways I should warn you, Robert, about one of your fans named “cousin Vinny”. He is about one brain cell away from a retard who just by random circumstances came into possession of a flame thrower. His IQ is just one (1) point higher than a pretty daisy flower. His mindset resembles that of a raped than afterwards burned stuffed rabbit. Heed my warning Robert. For the sake of… oh hey Vinny… what’s eh.. what’s up? What is that?
    I hereby declare that Cousin Vinny is great and statues should be raised in his honor. Loved the article too. Loved it all. All of it.

    wetbandid 24.Nov.2009 11:09 am

  • Oh… oh you suck…
    I know who you are, and I’m coming for you.

    Couzin Vinny 24.Nov.2009 3:30 pm

  • And I am NOT in possession of a flamethrower… Dickwad

    Couzin Vinny 24.Nov.2009 4:06 pm

  • The best thing to do when you get RROD is to go to your nearest Wal-Mart, bring your X-Box up the service desk, and tell them you bought it there a few weeks before, but lost the receipt.

    If they ask for identification, simply pull your pants down, bend over the counter, and begin screaming “What does a guy have to do to get a prostate massage around here?”

    They may even throw in a free case of Sam’s Cola if you time it just right.

    Jim 8.Dec.2009 12:08 pm

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