25 Mar 2010

A Journey Though the Healthcare Apocalypse

New column up at Cracked that finally tackles the single most over-looked and under-the-radar issue in politics today: Health Care Reform. I know, right?! It’s about time somebody talked about it. Also, there may or may not be time travel, giants, the apocalypse, unmanned laser drones and dragon-riders. It uh…it goes a little off the rails towards the end. Digg it out of a sense of social responsibility or just for Stan the Ring Wraith. Let me know which!

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18 Mar 2010

EXTRA! Mario Lopez Has No Soul!

My new column is up at Cracked, and in it I reveal the hideous truth about the controversial, the risky, the incredibly relevant Mario Lopez. The uh…the guy who played A.C. Slater on Saved by the Bell? Remember? In all seriousness though, he is dangerous psychopath who must be stopped. I recommend we do so by framing him for wrecking Belding’s car on prom night. Who will be brave enough to join me against the face of darkness?! Digg it here to make your stand, or just to let the world know you really wanted to bang Kelly Kapowski back in the day…and still would (even though she’s got kind of a Muppet head going on now).

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10 Mar 2010

Why Crimes Would Never Get Solved at a TV Police Station

There’s a new column up at Cracked, wherein I take on a topical reference with a comedic formula! Here is where I detail my humorous reasons for doing so, then imply that I am a terrible person and a social deviant so you can laugh uncomfortably! Now I give you a Digg link, and detail a brief but hopefully hilarious reason for you to support my work, even though I really just want to pay the water bill! Swear words and synonyms for penis!

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