28 Jan 2010

Choose Your Own Drug-Fueled Misadventure: Dragon Ass and Takin’ Names

New column up at Cracked, wherein I completely ignore potential lawsuits and retarded threats from a company that’s two decades past irrelevant and should frankly be thankful that one person even remembers them…in order to make jokes about dongs. The uh…the nobility of the act loses a little something along the way. Digg it here for misguided causes!

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21 Jan 2010

How Hollywood Decided to Reboot Spider-Man (Probably)

So the new column is up at Cracked, and in it I discover something unsettling about myself: I am way too good at writing Hollywood dickheads. Considering that I’m moving to LA soon, I am both afraid for my moral center and excited about how much money my newfound amorality will bring. I’m getting my pre-sleaze on up here, so I can just slip right in down there. Digg for disturbing mental images!

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14 Jan 2010

5 Real News Items That May Be Supervillain Origin Stories

New column up at Cracked, which is ostensibly about headline news articles that could very well be the birth of supervillains, but was in reality just a thinly veiled excuse to write about radioactive bees and call Spider-man a wife-beater. Digg it here for resounding success?

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