How to Get Your Screenplay Read (Using Physical Violence)
New column up at Cracked, and all you aspiring screenwriters out there take note, because this is how the magic is made: With kidnapping, fraud and assault. Seriously, it’s the fuel that Hollywood runs on. Literally the only reason Clark Gable got the lead in Gone With The Wind is because he abducted Victor Fleming from the Public House and repeatedly whacked him in the balls with a wet rope. Digg for little known facts!
Read MoreThe Worst Detective Ever
New column up at Cracked, wherein I try to solve the mystery of Swaim’s missing sexual harassment suit. Seriously, I think I’m technically his boss now, and I basically just wrote 3000 words of gay porn about him and published it on the internet to an audience of hundreds of thousands. Digg it here to show the world that, no matter what, gender-confused stalking will always be funny!
Read More5 Reasons Die Hard is the Best Christmas Movie Ever Made
New column up at Cracked, regarding motherfuckers the the yipee-ki-yay thereof. All jokes aside, though, Die Hard is technically a Christmas movie. So, feel free to tell your family that you’re popping in a Christmas classic and then scream profanities at them for two hours straight this holiday season. Digg it here and keep tradition alive!
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