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Hey all. The next Atomfilms article is up, just click on the banner, the title, or any pictures of kangaroos you may see later in this post.

Spring Break Movies You Didn’t Know You Loved

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Xbox Live: Like a frat party where it’s acceptable to shoot everybody in the face.

So I bought an Xbox 360 a couple of weeks ago, and overall I’m pretty happy with it. However, the online multiplayer needs some work. Well, to be fair it’s not the actual service that’s flawed, it’s mankind in general. And it’s not so much “flawed” as it is “entirely fucked to the gills with assholes.”

Seriously, if you guys want to know why everybody hates Americans, put on your embarrassing Pretend Flight Commander headset and listen for three minutes. The reason will become painfully clear just seconds before you black out from the painful inter-cranial hate-hemorrhaging. Your average gamer might log on, check the time, turn the volume down a bit, and settle in for a quick, entertaining game. The Xbox Live guy logs on, checks his wireless headset to make sure the volume is turned up as loud as possible, flips his thesaurus to the dog-eared entry on “homosexual,” licks his lips and begins another zealous, thunderous sermon against a world of faggots, retards, and fagtards. I can only presume that he sees, every time he logs on, something akin to this:

So, do any of you have Xbox 360s? Do you play online? Do you consider faggot to be unacceptable substitute for any and all pronouns? You should hit me up. My ID is “brockwar.” I mostly play Team Fortress 2 and Call of Duty 4 right now, but I have Gamefly and I’ll check something out if it’s recommended strongly enough and with a sufficient number of exclamation points.

Will you be my Tourette’s valentine?

I have a question, internet.

Is it possible to have Tourette’s for a person? Like normal people may have a crush on someone, can you just really have Tourette’s for like, one specific dude? Say, a Real Estate Broker? On the North Side? Who advertises mostly on bus stop benches?

Is that a thing? A thing that you can have? A Tourette’s Crush? Because if it’s not, I guess I just really love Real Estate Brokering passionately. And that’s a fucking stupid thing to love.

Here, maybe it’s not just me. Maybe the name itself is really just a kickass battlecry that you can’t resist screaming. You try it. Put on your best, guttural man-voice and growl out “BILLY GRIPPO!!! BILLY GRIPPOOOOOO!!!

Did you do it? Awesome, now can you record it and post it on YouTube, so that the next time I Tourette out Billy Grippo at a bus stop I can tell everybody I’m just cleverly referencing an internet fad, and not simply being the complete retard that I so clearly am?