How Not to Deal with the Red Ring of Death
New column up at Cracked, dealing with that most painful, humiliating, shameful of issues: Gaming Dysfunction. I myself was recently molested by the RROD, and I hope my harrowing tale helps anybody else out there suffering from this. No, no don’t call me a hero - I am just a man. Digg it here, to let other RRODees know they’re not alone! Take back the night!
Read MoreMy Field Trip to the Large Hadron Collider
New column up at Cracked, regarding my rather poor understanding of advanced physics, my very poor understanding of journalistic integrity, and my unfathomably poor understanding of sexual misconduct laws. Also, I guess I owe Sweden like eight billion dollars in damages now, so if you all could Digg the article here I could sure use the ad revenue. Oh, I’m also stealing ad revenue from my employer now (in case that last part confused you).
Read MoreA Life-Changing Seminar on Empowerment, Leadership and Boobs
New column up at Cracked wherein I attend a pentecostal church, because I feel like my place in this world may be more than just cracking jokes and mindless hedonism. It’s like…there’s got to be something more, you know? I feel a hollowness inside of me, and there could be grace there. I’m not exactly a changed man yet, but I think I’m getting there, and with His help I know I can make it. Wait…no, scratch that. Sorry, in this one I light somebody on fire and there’s a bunch of tits. My bad. Digg it here, praise be!
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