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This is the Multiple Kill Vehicle. Hug Your Loved Ones Goodbye.

The MKV-L does not fuck about: The acronym stands for Multiple Kill Vehicle…L. I assume the ‘L’ means that it is the 12th iteration of the device, or else it stands for “LORD IN HEAVEN, JESUS CHRIST BE THY NAME, SAVE ME FROM THIS…WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THING? OH GOD I THINK IT’S LOOKING AT ME, LOOKING AT ME WITH ITS NON-EYES. I HAVE TO GO NOW LORD, IF YOU DON’T HEAR FROM ME WITHIN THE NEXT FIFTEEN MINUTES, CALL THE FUCKING COPS.” It’s probably the former, seeing as how the latter - though entirely accurate - is somewhat unwieldy for an acronym. And the MKV-L does not like to be unwieldy; it likes to stay lean, agile, and fast. Like a Velociraptor.

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New Cracked column up here. I’d ask you to Digg it and whatnot, but I’m getting this up late so there’s no point to it really. You can still help spread it other ways, though. I suggest sexual transmission. I suggest we start that, right now. Sexually Transmitted Articles.

Asides

• No update this week. Thank Microsoft Word, with collaboration from Wordpress, for deleting an entire, finished fucking post for no fucking reason whatsoever. Fuck you to hell, guys. I'll be back next week when I reformat this computer and install Linux. I'm done, Microsoft. It's times like this when I wish I was multi-lingual just so I could find more ways to tell you to fuck yourselves. #
• New Cracked column is up here, wherein I accuse Santa Claus of racism, pedophilia, kidnapping, and multiple homicide. Also, semi-nudes of the great pumpkin. Basically, I want to kill your childhood. You can Digg that notion right here, for some reason. #
• New Cracked column is up here, and you can Digg it here if you have the Digging Sickness. But before reading, be forewarned: If you do not now have balls, you will by the time this is over. Just something to keep your significant other apprised of, that's all... #
• New article is up at Atom and you can Digg it here. Now, I don't want to spoil anything for you, but let's just say you might want to reconsider your family's annual post-Christmas naked blood-swim this year. #
• Things are messy but should be cleaned up by the weekend. Some older posts may look weird until the redesign is done. #